If one day I become a writer...

If one day I become a writer, my first book would be "Francisca Raffaello".

Dear Franc,

For so long, I have been such an idiot who kept on slowly, stubbornly learning lessons from all the mistakes. Those lessons are all supposed to be well understood. I wonder how I could not know; why I could make it as wrongly as now it is.There was a time when I came to know that "Leaving someone when you're loving someone is the hardest thing to do." And today this makes me realize, just how hard and cruel it is to you. Now when I finally know what comes down to be the most important, the important thing left, left me like infinitely...leaving me heart-broken, suffocating.

Under this atmosphere, like it's running out of oxygen, my heart is like squeezed as a dried lemon - which I know is the right punishment. And when my heart falls all the way down to the bottom, I become absolutely determined. If you ever come back again, I will do all a true heart will do to keep you safe and loved; But If you cast me up and leave me, how should I live another day? I will do what it takes...whatever it takes. Come back lover.

Exclusively yours,

Raff.

Dear Raff,

I wish I found ways to trust you again. I wish love would convince me. For a moment I thought I had the whole world from you and I was in heaven; and then the next, you suddenly take it all away - my world turned upside down to be a tremendous blackout in which I feel only weak and unsafe. There were times when you lift me up to above the atmosphere, but then I was shot and dropped to below the earth mantle. It costs my last unit of energy to say - This is my choice to painfully leave you. Thanks for all the love, I have the same amount for you, but they are now all held up - Heart once broken, cureless. So leave me alone.

Franc

Dear Franc,

Over the whole period of time - seemingly an entire lifetime - since you left, I have only done one thing - making up my mind to change FOR you; and I set my heart on the whole new heavenly atmosphere which is yet to come. Be kind enough to let me be a secure lover - which, in my life, I have never truly been one. And adamantly I will give you the whole of myself if I ever get the chance again - because I have finally learned a huge priceless lesson from a broken, squeezed-lemon like, non-stop weeping heart. So please, please trust me.

By the time when you doubt if you could trust anybody or anything again, let me be your last clue. When you don't believe in all the disguised illusion, trust in real things you should. Truth be told, you just happened to be the only one I ever want in this world. And you also happened to be the only fantasy I would spend my days and years dreaming of; the only story of impossibles I would spend my years and decades reading and writing. I've never in my life been more sure that I won't trade you for anyone else. Honey leave me not.

Exclusively yours,

Raff

Sunday, 5 December 2010